4 Essential Thoughts to Keep Your Sanity During the Holidays
Are you starting to stress about the holidays? Feel like you're behind already and haven't even started? Don't know how you're going to fit all the holiday activities into your already busy schedule? Keep reading, and I'll share the four things I remember each year to tell myself to maintain my sanity and relieve stress during the holidays.
Some of you are reading this, and the holiday season is right around the corner. Some of you are reading it, and the holiday season is already here. Either way, what I'm sharing with you today can help you relieve stress and maintain some of your sanity during the holidays so you can enjoy them and be on top of things.
1. I Can't Do Everything, and That's Okay
There are four thoughts I remind myself about each holiday season. Number one, I can't do everything, and that's okay. It's not what I was created for, and the same goes for you.
I grew up in an environment that encouraged an unspoken rule of perfectionism. I was also taught that it was rude to say no to others, especially adults and authority figures. So, if you committed to something, then you had to do it. You couldn't quit—that just wasn't allowed. As I matured and started my own healing journey, I learned that I wasn't taught those thoughts with the right perspective or reality.
Committing to every single thing I say I'm going to do, even in unexpected moments or when my brain isn't fully functioning, is not realistic. Why? Because I could get sick or because something of higher priority could come around.
I began telling myself thoughts with a more realistic perspective. Thoughts that allowed me to take ownership of what I committed to and what I didn't, giving me a bit more freedom to be okay with saying no. I remind myself, "I can't do everything and that's okay." I wasn't built with infinite capacity or energy. Yes, I have abundant resources, but they're still finite, and I need to be a good steward of them—my time, finances, and health. It's okay to say no to things I've said yes to and yes to things I've said no to previously.
I am human. I can change my mind. I also live in a world where things change regularly. The weather changes, traffic happens. The key to avoiding guilt for saying no or changing my mind is to do it with confidence and grace, reflecting and learning lessons for next time. There is a difference between saying no because life happened versus being chronically undependable.
2. Do the important things
The second reminder is even though I can't do everything, I can do the important things—the things that matter most to me and my family. No one else is going to do these important things because no one else believes they are as important as I do.
To determine what these important things are, I use prioritization lists. One of the questions I ask myself to prepare for this is, "What good thing do I need to say no to so I get to say yes to an amazing thing?" I also revisit the first thought: I can't do everything, which includes the important things. I can't do all the important things in one day, but I can make sure that what I do in a day are important things.
3. Doing Fewer THINgs in a healthier state
The third thing I remind myself is that doing fewer things in a healthier state can lead to better results than doing a ton of things in an unhealthy state. This applies physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
One way I determine what few things to do in a healthy state is to prioritize. Initially, I based my priorities on emotions, but this approach wasn't solid enough. I realized I needed criteria and structure in my prioritization system. During my time in the United States Air Force, I learned a powerful prioritization system that told us what to work on, when based on mission priority and departure time. It empowered us to say no and provided a forecast for work beyond the next 24 hours.
In my personal life, I customize my system with criteria to determine priority changes. The key takeaways are: I can't do everything, but I can do the important things; doing fewer things in a healthier state is better.
4. Change is Unavoidable
The last reminder for the holidays is that change is uncomfortable but unavoidable. It doesn’t mean that change has to be painful or inconvenient. Being on top of holiday activities may mean shifting routine activities or pausing them for a season.
Choosing to intentionally pause something doesn't mean quitting. It means shifting priorities for a season with a plan to restart afterward. I also block off an extra hour in my week, allowing me to absorb and accept unexpected changes mindfully. This prepares me for sudden commitments, like bringing a dish to a function or taking a child shopping for ugly sweaters.
Blocking off time isn’t about adding an hour to your week but about giving yourself mental space to manage changes more easily.
These four reminders help me maintain my sanity and enjoy the holidays. They come in handy throughout the year, too. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for my next post, where I discuss my non-negotiable routines that help me stay on track with my goals during the holidays.